March 2, 2024
Annapolis, US 50 F

Cohen Responds

Clarifies McDonald’s Lease

The following statement was just received by Phillip McGowan, Annapolis Mayor Joshua Cohen’s spokesman:

The mayor is very devastated that he didn’t have the chance to announce this news himself, that someone leaked this to a lonely blogger. To make matters worse, the mayor was appalled by the lack of substance in the reporting, which begs the question: “Where’s the beef?”

In any case, the mayor believes that leasing the Market House to McDonald’s will be centerpiece of his legacy. He if accomplishes nothing else in his four years, successfully executing the lease of the Market House with McDonald’s will ensure the success of his term in office.

Upon successfully negotiating the lease, the mayor’s future plans will include amending the Historic District zoning to allow for a 20-foot-tall eternally lit golden arches to be erected on top of the Market House structure. In this way, the Market House will be a beacon of light for all Annapolitans as well as serving as a navigational beacon for America’s sailing capital.

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