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“Nationals October 2019

I Am Server, Hear Me Roar!

| March 31, 2010, 12:20 PM | 11 Comments

I am an avid believer that everyone should work in the service industry for a few weeks out of their life. Screw community service in high school, require teenagers to work as a server, host, cook, whatever for a solid 2-3 weeks. I think then everyone will understand the crap that we have to deal with on a daily basis.

I have been in and out of the service industry since I graduated college and have, for the past three years, been managing an Annapolis restaurant, serving and bartending. I have to admit, I love it. I live downtown and walk to work, I never have to wear a suit or heels, and my stress rarely revolves around deadlines and office politics. Now my stress is about where I’m going after work and how I’m going to accessorize. There’s something to be said about simplicity.

So, I am approaching thirty and all of my friends are getting married or having babies. You would not believe the amount of parties and showers I have to go to in the next few months. So we all know Fridays and Saturdays for restaurants are typically money shifts, so it should come as no surprise that I work every Friday and Saturday night. I do my best to try and attend as many parties as I possibly can without going hungry or homeless. It’s the people that just don’t understand why it’s so difficult for me to call out of work to celebrate their friend’s, sister’s cousin’s third engagement party that bother me the most. This is my JOB, I don’t get paid vacation, hell, I don’t even get benefits. I don’t ask you to take off on a Wednesday to go get plastered at the bar with me, so don’t expect me to drop everything on a Saturday night for you. I like living by myself and spoiling my dog, and need a steady income to make that happen.

My mother, whom I love dearly, still pays for my car insurance. I know, I know, it’s pathetic.  I have tried on several occasions to assume responsibility and the last time I approached her about it, do you know what she said to me? “When you get a real job, you can start paying for your car insurance”. So then and there I decided I would milk it for as long as possible. My mother means well, and I guess since she paid for a large portion of my extremely expensive college education, she is allowed to say whatever she wants.

At the end of the day, I just want my family and friends to realize that I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it I’M IMPORTANT TOO!

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About the Author - The Bar Bitch

I graduated with an Art degree from a small liberal arts college, did a bit of traveling and moved to Annapolis from Baltimore about seven years ago. I currently manage a well-known Annapolis restaurant, serve and bartend. I live downtown and I like sunsets and long walks on the beach :)

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Comments (11)

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  1. Roger Frost says:

    Let me get this straight…

    college education
    approaching 30
    lets mother pay for car insurance
    walks to work
    works at a bar

    If all that is true, then you have some problems… here are some solutions to consider.

    – Use your degree to get a better job, so you can pay your own way, having your mother take care of your car insurance is pathetic.

    – Or, if you like your job, get rid of your car, again, having your mother take care of your car insurance is pathetic.

  2. Will M says:

    Rog–take a chill. Have you tried to get a job in this market? And do you somehow feel that working in the restaurant industry is beneath someone with a degree? Sheesh. She said she tried to assume the payments and her mother refused–hey if mom can afford it, why not?

    Good new column John. Look forward to more. And Bar Bitch–don’t let the commenters get you down–just dish it back and know that the servers in town got your back!

  3. Bar Bitch says:

    Thanks Will, I appreciate the feedback!

    Roger, I make more money managing a restaurant then I did commuting to DC everyday “using my degree”. To have any job in this economy is a blessing, and to really enjoy your job is rare.

    Don’t be jealous. I bet if you ask my mother nicely she’ll pay for insurance too :)

  4. Seth Perry says:

    Good to have you with us, Bar Bitch. Don’t sweat the disparaging comments. Loved the column…can’t wait to see some more obnoxious patron stories!

  5. FoodWhore says:

    I love how ppl come on here and pass judgement. especially when the article is calling out for compassion for the service industry and the first post is missing that entirely. I like the approach of Bar Bitch. Thanks John for bringing on some new writing to open our eyes to the realities of the real world these days.

  6. wait on me says:

    I am so glad that there are slackers like Bar Birch to work the crappy jobs so I can abuse them.

  7. EOA Staff says:

    @Fred Shubbie–the comment you submitted for this was not approved. While we encourage comments, criticism and opinion, outright attacks are NOT what we are looking for. I trust you understand.

  8. fred shubbie® says:

    It was not an attack. I know of what I am talking about, and my opinions though seemingly horrific to the weak exposes truths people soon find to be propphetic and enlightening. I will refrain from posting here from this point forward unless I can say something gentler like the comment by ‘wait on my’ : “I am so glad that there are slackers like Bar Birch to work the crappy jobs so I can abuse them.”

    EOA Staff : I am an annapolis native who knows just about everything and everyone and I am rarely inaccurate in my analysis. Of course I am subject to your censorship–so be it.

  9. EOA Staff says:

    It was indeed an attack. Certain points you made were valid… the concept is not new—not sure where we said it was a new concept. And yes it was developed off of the NYC waiter. I saw the success there and thought it might work here.

    Bar Bitch has never claimed to work under any “great chefs” and yet you deride her for not working under them. You accuse her of being a “binge drinking server approaching middle age” and demand to know why you need to listen to her opinion.

    The short answer is you don’t. No one is ordering you to listen to her opinion but there are others who appreciate it and can see the potential in it. The column is supposed to be a humorous and edgy look. You may not like Seth and his views–that’s ok as well. You may not be a fan of baseball–don;t read the new Baysox stuff.

    As I said, we do welcome you here and appreciate your participation, but your reputation precedes you. Opinion and debate are welcome–even if it is opposite of any stated position. Personal attacks will not be tolerated. I think you will find that the moderation here is much less severe than other sources. There is indeed a fine line between vociferous debate and an attack, but the fact remains that we hold the crayon to draw the line!

  10. fred shubbie® says:

    I appreciate you given your readers a glimpse into the post you rejected. My questions were not rhetorical , I really did want to know what differentiated BB from the throngs of servers in annapolis. Waiter rants preceded BB, and I also took exception to his book, but
    he had pretty good credentials. Just as ms. Bitch stereotypes her customers, they are general characteristics shared by those in the servant sub-culture.

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