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“Nationals October 2019

Dopey Or Doc?

| December 11, 2009, 10:55 AM | 4 Comments

Dear Chanel, essential

I am a freshman in high school and today, some older kids came up to me and asked if I wanted to buy drugs. I don’t do drugs and told them “thanks but no thanks” and they went on their way.

I know drugs are bad for you and I am wondering, should I have done anything more? Should I tell my parents? Should I tell the school administrator? For some reason I feel by not doing anything, I am condoning it.

–We’re Not In Middle School Anymore

Dear We’re not in Middle School Anymore,

I grew up surrounded my drug users and dealers. It’s not the typical scene you see in movies in city street, kids getting high and making trouble. It was kids who did sports or were straight A students but it was also the dopey kids who did not do so well [aka the stereotype drug users]. It was never the most comfortable thing since I was very against using drugs and smoking cigarettes.

Deciding what to do is hard. Most of my best friends growing up ended up being the ones who were using, and some even abusing drugs. I randomly debated saying something to their parents or even my own. I was scared of losing them and kept quiet. Eventually, things ended for their own reasons. Their lives were all about getting high in playgrounds and sex. I was about boys and not using drugs. It went both ways; some friends respected it and left it at that ; other friends made jokes about it and tried to make me feel bad about my choice. I stood by it regardless. The smell of smoke, the thought of swallowing pills or sticking needles in me were not of a personal choice – so the decision was easy to stick by.

My teenage advice would have been – do not rat them out. Their lives are for their own and they will have to live with their own consequences. I would have told you to do what I did – which was sit there and let them dry themselves out. Allow them to become highly addicted and lose their minds. Let them get kicked out of school, class and their homes. Why? Because they were my friends and I wanted to do anything for them – except what I should have done.

This resulted in my friends being sent away, going to rehab, getting arrested, becoming addicts and dealers, and the worst of them all…dying. That’s right, I have had friends die or be near death due to drugs. Some of them only tried it once – a select few died of overdoses. It tore me apart and I blamed myself for years. I did nothing. Yes, I gave my opinion and would suggest them to just stop using drugs but who was I to speak my mind? The prude who had barely sipped a beer as a sophomore in high school?

My adult advice would be to seek out someone you can trust to talk with. Let them know that the drug usage is in your area and report it. I would also say, tell your parents. Hear their side of how the view drugs. I would even bring it up with your friends. You could be surprised to hear that some of your friends have tried or want to try drugs. For the most part; most drug users are looking for an escape. Something in their life – if not all of it, is tearing them apart from the insides and they need something to get them out. A quick high is the easiest. Now adays people just use medications or household products.

There is only so much you can say or do. It is hard to change people and it is emotionally exhausting. Drugs are not a good thing – if they were, they’d be illegally. I have a lot of friends who could sit here and argue with me or fight the situation and there are bills trying to be passed involving certain drugs – but my personal opinion is this:

Stay away from drugs. It’s a waste of money, time and your life. If you have issues – get help. You smell awful, look awful, and you become someone who you are not. Celebrities are entering rehabilitation centers and dying due to their addictions. There are millions of movies and tv shows involving drug use and most do not highlight the beauties of it. Some may highlight the comedic side of it, singers may “roll with it”, but its your life. If you do not agree with drugs – do not do it. Do what you can to be prevent others from falling into it.

Thanks for coming to me. I hope you find comfort in talking to a close relative, parent, friend or school representative. School is hard enough to deal with when growing up – another distraction never makes it easier.

Hugs not Drugs.

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Category: OPINION

About the Author - The Essentials by Chanel

A short and witty young professional with tons of advice for you to grasp onto. I can cover anything from relationships to small business management to modeling to photography to career changes to having babies. Bring it on!

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Comments (4)

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  1. Mary B. says:

    i LOVED! this one. your advice was great. as i was reading, I kept thinking about how someone should really tell the kid that most people who use/abuse drugs and alcohol have something deeper going on in there lives and feel like they need an escaope. And just as I finished the thought in my head…you said it in your column! amazing!

    I’m currently reading “The Heroin Diaries: a year in the life of a shattered Rock star.” its a memoir of Nikki Sixx of Motly Crue. In the book he says something that I really relate to, that he knows people can see there is something wrong with him and that he needs help but no one ever actively tries to help him. I never struggled with other self destructive addictions, and where as VARY clear that there was something wrong with me, it was never more then a passing thought in their minds. I eventually got help, but sometimes–most times–an addiction is not something you can rid your self.

    I loved your advice…another good one ^_^ as always.

  2. Constanza says:

    Dear child,
    It is not up to you to save the world. Children who use drugs are most likely screaming for help. They are emotionally fragile and drugs offer an escape to what they are feeling internally. It is not up to you to resolve someone’s issues.

  3. Jesse says:

    My experience was that half of the kids that did drugs grew into being respectable, drug-free adults. On the other hand, half of the kids that didn’t do drugs ended up being complete losers.

    It really all comes down to character.

    Drugs are bad but they can also provide valuable life experiences, believe it or not. My own addiction taught me many lessons that have gotten me further in life than my peers.

    To each their own. You cannot change people, they can only change themselves.

  4. Jesse says:

    *many of my peers. It’s amazing how leaving out one word can make a person sound so egotistical and narcissistic. Ironically, those that are further along than me were some of the same people I used to party with.

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