From The Classroom: In Defense Of Abby
What’s up, Annapolis?
I have an announcement to make.
I will be embarking on a blogging trip around the world.
It will be very dangerous. I should not do it. I will be blogging from places like the Himalayas, vast and barren deserts, and FOX News studios. Horrible fates like Yetis, dehydration, and Ann Coulter could befall me.
I may be young, yes, but this should not be a factor. I am much more qualified to face deadly Egyptian rattlesnakes than a 40-year-old man who has to face deadly Egyptian rattlesnakes while worrying about what brand of milk his wife had asked him to pick up from the store. I am doing this for the thrill of the adventure, the ambition, because I can.
Sounds legit, right?
I am being sponsored by a wonderful company called Shoe City. They are going to write their name in big letters all over my blog.
Sounding a little fishy to you?
My parents have also signed a TV deal for a show about our family.
Now you’re starting to smell a rat. Or, if you’re incapable of smelling, you may be starting to imagine a rat. Or, if you’re like me, you may be starting to say a rat–as in “Rats! How come he gets a TV show and not me?”
Now, during a freak storm that causes all of Ukraine’s power to go out, my power cord is fried and my laptop crashes. My parents immediately construct a donation site to resurrect it.
At this point, of course, you should be pulling out your credit card and ponying up some lettuce. Of course, you aren’t, because Americans never want to pay for anything but cable and concert tickets. And you’re probably beginning to question me and my parents, and whether this is a cry for fame instead of a cry for help.
Then a whole boatload of stuff is unveiled–a videographer reveals that my parents forced me into taking my trip, that my father was sawing on the boom of my…um…laptop (bear with me, this is an allegory), etc?
Now, of course, you’re morally outraged, if you weren’t before.
These days, even people who live under rocks can search the Internet on some 3G network or another, so there’s no excuse for not knowing what my little rambling anecdote was an allegory for. Everyone, I’m sure, has heard about the Abby Sunderland saga in the past few days–even me. I should have been studying, but instead I was reading and watching the outraged coverage of Abby and the Blunderland family by various news outlets. Yes, the Sunderland saga stalled Seth’s studying. (I couldn’t resist the alliteration)
And while I was supposed to be studying for Geometry, I came up with the above scenario. And then I came up with another similar one with drastically different consequences.
I embark on my journey and complete it successfully.
Everyone loves the heck out of me. I’m lauded by media outlets for my courage and determination, and my parents are praised for supporting me and my achievements.
Lately, we’ve been seeing all sorts of attacks on the Sunderland family, and even Abby Sunderland herself, as a result of Abby’s decision to circumnavigate the globe and the resulting crash. People are outraged that the Sunderland family would be irresponsible enough to send her out, and even Abby is criticized for wanting to make the voyage, especially in this (in my view) overly critical, unnecessarily condescending, and blatantly nasty article.
Well, people who want to criticize Abby and her family, I know that you do it with their best interests at heart. You want to look out for a teenage girl who has guts and determination, and you want to criticize the fame-seeking tendencies of her parents. I have one thing to say to you all, though:
You’re all hypocrites.
If she had made it around the globe, no one would have had a problem with the parents’ decision to send Abby off. She’d be praised for her courage. Her parents would be praised for encouraging her to follow her dreams. It would have been a sensational media story. But when she failed, the media decided it would make a story out of it anyway, and there’s not a news outlet that hasn’t hopped on the Blunderland bandwagon. I want anyone who’s written an article or given a TV interview criticizing Abby and her family to look me in the eye and tell me they still would have said those things had she made it around the globe. People are drawing parallels to balloon boy, but it’s not just the fame-seeking family that’s the connection–another similarity is a little thing called media distortion. No one complained when her brother–just one year older–made it around the globe. Is it an arbitrary age thing? Is it even sexual discrimination? Or is it simply the fact that by crashing, she became an easy target?
As someone of Abby’s age and someone with a good deal of ambition myself, I respect and admire her bravery in taking on this voyage. (If the claims by the videographer–who looks like just as much of a fame-seeker as the father–are true and Abby’s father did force her onto the voyage, then obviously the circumstances are different and I’m very angry at the parents). Obviously the sea is dangerous–but so is driving to the store to pick up some bananas. So is skateboarding. So is football. Not to the same extent as sailing the globe, sure, but then again, I think Abby may be a little more special than the average kid you hand the car keys to. Abby knows good and well what risks she’s willing to take, and she likely has a fair grasp of what she’s capable of. Whine and complain all you want about how her parents should never have let her go out there–but you don’t know Abby. You may not even be a sailor. Besides, can you imagine the backlash if her parents had actually relied on you to make the decision on whether their daughter should fulfill her dream of sailing the ocean? Let’s fantasize a bit:
Picture two news commentators:
News commentator 1: Laurence Sunderland decided to ask a random columnist for parenting advice today.
News commentator 2: Yes, Bob, apparently this person, who had no relation at all to the Sunderland family, was consulted on a matter that was potentially dangerous on one hand, and involved squelching Abby’s dreams on the other.
News commentator 1: Barbara, are you meaning to tell me that Laurence Sunderland trusted this person, who may not even have known Abby one little bit?
News commentator 2: Yes, Bob, and he’s a horrible parent. This borders on child neglect!
News commentator 1: Laurence Sunderland must die!!!
News commentator 2: His initials are the same distance away from each other in the alphabet as Adolf Hitler’s!!!!
News commentator 1: He’s a horrible parent, and I’ve done a report on the Gosselins!
News commentator 2: You said it, Bob. And now to Glenn Beck, who will present us with an interesting blackboard graphic that details how the Sunderlands have teamed up with Mexican immigrants to kill and eat all of the nation’s housecats.
We’ll always find a way to criticize in this world, won’t we? The media especially neglects to praise those who need it and strongly bashes those who don’t–but I, for one, believe in giving credit where credit is due, so I will.
Abby, I’m proud of you. While I can’t say I would have made the same decision as you, I think it’s remarkable that you did, and stood up for it still when you turned out to be wrong. I admire the courage and determination with which you believed in yourself and followed your dreams and wished that I possessed it. I agree that age does not equal ability, and I think you knew that while you may not have done everything perfectly, it was your right to make the decision to go and I’m glad you made the choice that suited you. The fact that you made it as far as you did is still a testament to your sailing skills. Never let anyone squelch your dreams or tell you what your limits are. Besides, it’s not like you would die at the first mistake–you had safety equipment that got you rescued.
Oh, I’m sorry, do you disagree with my teenage idealist rant? If she’d only been two years older you wouldn’t have said a thing, I’m sure. Abby Sunderland seems like a more than capable sailor and I think that media portrayal of high schoolers as idiots has led to too many misconceptions about our competence.
Now, this is not to say that I think her family’s actions were entirely scrupulous. They sound like some people who really want to be on TV and I seriously hope they didn’t knowingly put their daughter in harm’s way to get there. The media has painted a picture of them and I don’t know to what extent it’s true–if it is, I think they need to get a grip on their egos and loosen their grip on their daughter. Then again, there are a lot of things people will talk about to bring in ratings. (Did someone say balloon boy?) And I seriously hope no one contributed to save the boat. Not that I think she deserved to lose it, but she took this task on knowing full well what the risks were, and the consequences for those risks. I commend her for taking them on, but she also needs to be prepared to suffer the consequences.
Although I have to say, I’m pretty sure people would be ecstatic to watch her reality show had she successfully circumnavigated the globe. And while that’s primarily another instance of hypocrisy, it’s a great segue into my next top-10 list:
Sunderland Reality Show Ideas:
10. This is more of a crossover, but it should be massively fun–some celebrity parents take their kids on a fishing trip on a boat piloted by none other than Abby Sunderland. The title? Jon and Kate Plus Bait.
9. The Sunderlands Try To Explain Why They Need To Start A Website To Get Donations To Save Abby’s Boat While They Already Have A Huge Sponsorship (seriously, I’ve been wondering about this).
8. Pimp My Sailboat. Shoe City will provide it with a nice coat of sponsorish paint, and Laurence Sunderland will frantically saw at your boom!
7. Attention-Seeking Rehab with Dr. Drew. Starring the Sunderlands (of course), and, if her shooting schedule for Flirtatious Winking Rehab with Dr. Drew doesn’t overlap, Sarah Palin.
6. Around the World in Abby Days. Forgive me for the horrible play on words, but she could go back around the globe again, this time stopping in different countries and learning about culture. Think of all the local cuisine she could educate the viewers about–pasta in Italy, vegetarian bourbon chicken (i.e. bourbon) in the American South, and in the Middle East, shrapnel!
5. Sailing in the Matrix. Sailing pro Abby Sunderland investigates how sailing would work in an alternate vortex where a computer system controls everything. I did this because I kept mixing up Laurence Sunderland with Laurence Fishburne and knew I needed to touch on that sometime here.
4. WWE Smackdown Wet n’ Wild Special: Abby Sunderland vs. the Indian Ocean. WWE will be hoping for a closer, more exciting match this time, since the last one, BP vs. the Gulf of Mexico, was a little one-sided.
3. So You Think You Can Give Me Parenting Advice, judged by Laurence Sunderland. The first contestant to suggest that he strengthen his family bond by having another reality show will be the automatic winner.
2. Let’s Make Frenchmen Run Errands For Us. Tagline: “They’ve never won a war…but this summer, 14 Frenchmen will compete to win the ultimate prize of being Abby Sunderland’s chauffeur.”
1. We Really Gotta Hire A New Videographer: The Sunderlands search for a videographer who doesn’t go blabbing to the press so gosh-darn much.
So, in closing:
To Shoe City: I’m still not buying any of your products. But if you want to paint my boat, I’ll give you a shout.
To the Sunderland parents: I’m reserving judgment. But stop appearing so desperate to be on TV.
To Abby Sunderland: I’m behind you 100%. (I’m also single. 100%. And you’re cute. 100%.)
It’s a dangerous world out there. Be careful.
Seth
Agree with me? Don’t agree with me? Want me to elaborate on a point I made? Leave a comment.
Category: BLOG NOTES, Boating, COLUMNS, From The Classroom, Just For Fun, NEWS, OPINION, Rant
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FINALLY. THANK GOD. Someone realizes what teenagers are capable of, and just the fact that we’re 15, 16, 17 doesn’t mean we don’t know what we’re doing. I think Abby is more competent than much of the media – take Joy Behar on CNN. She said something along the lines of “We’re worried she’ll be eaten by sharks.” On a 40-foot sailboat? Seriously?
Anyway, as a teenager with nearly identical views to yours, I commend you for writing this article. Well done!
Thanks, Taylor!
“Eaten by sharks”? Wow. My shaky confidence in TV news has been further diminished.
Just steer clear of CNN and switch to Fox (Fair and Balanced you know)
And unfortunately for every Abby out there, there are many Wade and Wesleys.
I still think Abby’s parents are skeevy though!