Just Another Dime?

| February 22, 2010 | 0 Comments

Dear Chanel, chnel

I have been with one of my closest friends for over six years. He is a fun guy and very smart. His job shows it and he makes decent money. But I make more. When we go out with friends I am always expected to pay. I never hesitate, but it hurts my feelings when he tells me he expects it or that it’s not a big deal. He works too! Some may think that he has a lot of bills but that’s not the case. He has none! He lives at home, as do I. Should I stop paying for him?

– Suga Mama

Dear Suga Mama,

Men get into habits and quite quickly at that. I would recommend a compromise with your beau. Six years is a long time to be together and hopefully you have learned a great deal about one another. Money is an issue between couples in many relationships. For instance – one person may be footing all the huge bills while the other sits around all day. In another situation – the man may feel intimidated that the woman is making more or vice-versa. It can become a power struggle. If this relationship is headed for a serious commitment, I would suggest that both of you be upfront about your financial situations. How much are you both trying to save, how much do you mind going towards the other person and how much do you plan on using for yourself and daily needs? It’s your hard earned money and you should decide how you spend it.

It will be different for each relationship. I have dated men that barely worked but spent as much of their money on things we did or things for me. I have dated men that were workaholics but put all their money into their bills and daily needs, while  I paid for myself. On the other extreme, I have been paid for super expensive things that have no interest for me, and have gotten nothing in return. Eventually, it will lead to arguments or guilt trips – which puts a damper on the relationship.

Communicate!! It is so important! Let the man know how you feel. I am sure you don’t mind treating to a movie or dinner every now and then but it should be because you want to and because he appreciates the gestures.

ess

Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

Tags: , , , ,

Category: OPINION

About the Author ()

A short and witty young professional with tons of advice for you to grasp onto. I can cover anything from relationships to small business management to modeling to photography to career changes to having babies. Bring it on!