Mannequin Or Girlfriend?

| January 28, 2010 | 0 Comments

Dear Chanel,
essential
My boyfriend of a year has decided to be overbearing and controlling all of a sudden. There has not been a reason for this to happen. Neither of us have cheated on the other or have had reason to believe. He claims he is just looking out for me but I do not understand why? I hang out with girls only and the only guy friends I have are his but we barely see them. Either way, he makes comments about how I dress. One day I was wearing a dress, a summer length, and he refused to leave the house until I changed. Then, I wore bum shorts and a tee shirt and he says, “it’s not sexy enough”. I’m very confused and thrown off by these actions. Why does it matter what I wear?

– His Mannequin

Dear Mannequin,

Being a female, my first reaction would be he should like you for who you are and appreciate how you dress. After letting go of my initial reaction, I’m going to step back and see if there might be an underlying issue. Have you approached your boyfriend and asked why is it sometimes okay to dress a little sexy and other times its out of the question? Is he jealous of one of his guy friends? Or, is it for the sake of him not wanting his family to have a bad impression? Does he only want you to dress sexy if it is you two going out; or all his friends going out? It could be an image thing. He may want to show you off but only to the right people. It all depends on if he has an actual issue.

Now, if he claims there is no issue – he just wants to be the boss of how you dress. Then let’s hold the reigns up a bit. If you have never cheated on one another and you don’t seem to be planning on it, then who cares how you dress? Since I do not know you I am not sure what exactly you wear out in public – you could define sexy as a low cut top and tight fitting jeans or a mini dress with strappy heals and a push up. So it may be a decency factor but my ultimate confusion is – why all of a sudden? If you have been dating for a year, you’ve been through all the seasons and weather conditions.

My advice would be to ask him what’s going on. Does he feel other men find you attractive? Does it bother him to see men look at you? Does he find your taste in clothing inappropriate? Or is he simply trying to be over protective? Does he want to control more things in the future and this is only the beginning? Ask questions and see where this leads. You don’t want to invest more time in this relationship only to have him treat you like dirt down the road. Communicate and decide if it’s something that can be worked out or if you need to kick him to the curb!

chanel

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A short and witty young professional with tons of advice for you to grasp onto. I can cover anything from relationships to small business management to modeling to photography to career changes to having babies. Bring it on!