From The Classroom: A Night On The Town
Welcome to my second Night On The Town column, where I bring you reviews of various Annapolitan establishments. 
Up this time: The Bay Theatre Company and Real Seafood Company (in the Annapolis Town Centre).
On Saturday, I was sitting on my bed, poring over my Ancient Civ reading–The Iliad, adapted for an American Audience, complete with American colloquialisms.
Original translation:
Agamemnon: How now, my brethren, we shalleth fighteth those vile Trojans!
Troublesome solider: Verily, thou art a greedy warmonger, and this quarrel has no worth!
Odysseus: Dares’t thou condemn our glorious leader? Verily, thou art unworthy to speak of thy master in such a manner. Should thou openeth thy mouth again, the perils which I visit upon thee shall be numerous!
Americanized translation:
Agammemnon: C’mon, guys, let’s go kill those Trojans.
Troublesome Soldier: Nah, this is dumb. We should call it quits.
Odysseus: Hey! You better shut up, or I’ll strip you butt-naked and beat the heck outta you!
Then I heard something calling “Seth, we gotta go!” I was surprised–I knew somewhere in my life, a book would speak to me. I just never thought it would happen with a book assigned for school. Or while I was sober.
Then I realized that it wasn’t the book, it was my parents. I also realized that it was my mother’s birthday, all though I’m sure she would just as well have me forget. It seems to me that once you’re able to drink, drive, and vote, getting older starts becoming less of a privilege and more of a nuisance.
She had bought tickets for us to see Harvey at the Bay Theatre Company. I had been there before, not to see a play but to take one of their acting classes for young adults. It was a couple of years ago and I don’t remember much about it, but I do remember that it wasn’t graded and there were no tests. That made it a great class in my book.
I was excited to see a play there, even though the stage was about the size of a small public bathroom and the folding chairs didn’t have armrests.
And…my complaints stop there. Armrests are a small price to pay for quality theater. $30…you can judge for yourself.
I wish I didn’t go on closing night of Harvey–or I would have been able to review the play itself for you (it was wonderful, by the way), but I’m assuming the quality of Harvey goes for the Bay Theatre’s other plays.
The acting was amazing, and the pronunciations of the word ‘supoib’ were more savory than a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup. The sets were amazing, the costumes were exquisite, and…there’s not much I can say, I suppose, because of my inexperience as a theater critic. The lighting lit up the stage, so I guess it served its purpose. The sound was audible.
But what can I say? We don’t go to the theater to watch the pretty lights. Theater is supposed to trigger the emotions within us, and goshdarnit, I laughed and even felt sad at some moments.
Plus, they were selling Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups in the lobby, which sealed the deal, unequivocally.
Do I recommend the Bay Theatre Company? Yes I do. Paying only 4 times the price of a movie to see a play that is fifty times better than Twilight? A heckuva bargain if you ask me. The theater has something, some magic, that movies will never be able to recreate. They’re only hanging on because they have Angelina Jolie–and armrests.
After that, we decided to go out for dinner. My mom wanted to go anywhere where she could get “half a cheeseburger and some champagne”. We drove all around town trying to find a place where the champagne-serving waiters with bow ties and little handlebar mustaches didn’t curl their lips when they repeated “cheeseburger”.
We ended up driving to the Chop House in the Annapolis Towne Center.
As soon as we turned off into the Towne Center, we found ourselves immersed in a National Geographic special.
The Lexus circles the parking lot, searching for its elusive prey–the parking space. But the parking space is nowhere to be found, its herd having been thinned out by the faster Hondas, Priuses, and Volvos that got there first. Desperate, the Lexus prepares to fight its fellow predators for its elusive prey, when, miraculously, it spies an unsuspecting gaggle of valets nearby.
In other words, the Annapolis Towne Center is for people who like to spend their Friday nights searching for parking spaces because they can’t get dates, don’t eat, have been banned from all bars, and don’t go to movies because they’re ashamed to have made so many bad ones. Indeed, it’s just paradise for Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen.
Seriously, though, if you don’t let the horrible parking situation get to you and skip straight to the valets, you’ve got no problems.
Unless, like us, the person in front of you had to explain to the valet the intricate process of locking his Corvette. I never knew locking a car could be so complicated. If more people owned Corvettes, there would be a lot less complaining over tax forms–they’d seem easy.
The valet service was great, seriously. The valets were very helpful, and the $2 charge didn’t matter–we finally had a parking space.
Turns out that the Chop House was full and we had to wait an hour if we wanted to eat, so we decided to visit its downstairs neighbor, the Real Seafood Company.
When we first got in, the restaurant was buzzing with people and music. Apparently, this is called ‘atmosphere’, which I’m assuming is Greek for ‘noise’. It wasn’t unbearable–if you’ve been to a sports bar before, you know what I’m talking about.
We sat down and ordered our drinks. The server was quite friendly and brought our drinks in a timely manner. My quest to find a restaurant that serves Dr Pepper still continues…but I digress.
The bread there–and I kid you not–was the best bread I have ever had in my life. Normally, I like the bread. This time, I fell in love with it. This, I feel, is a good life plan, because bread will never leave me for someone more athletic.
The appetizers were great too–the edemame we ordered was good, and the coconut shrimp were delicious. Combining the luscious flavors of shrimp, coconut, bread, and Coke in my mouth, I thought this was too good to be true.
It was.
The food took quite a while to find its way out of the kitchen–so long, in fact, that anyone upset by the government’s slow reaction to the deficit should go to the Real Seafood Company for perspective. Apparently the chef thought cheeseburger was a misnomer, because my brother’s cheeseburger appeared sans cheese. Both my mother’s and brother’s cheeseburgers lacked the promised coleslaw and pickle, and the coleslaw that was supposed to come with any entree was missing from my fish and chips. (I asked the waiter for some anyway. It was subpar.)
I thought my fish was very well done. Can’t say the same for the fries, but we can’t have everything. My little sister enjoyed her cobb salad very much, but my mother and little brother thought their cheeseburgers were lackluster. The food, I thought, was average to pretty good–though whether it was worth the wait is debatable.
Bottom line–the Real Seafood Company is really better to go to on a Friday night for appetizers and drinks with friends.
Assuming you can ever find a parking space.
Signing off,
Category: COLUMNS, From The Classroom, Restaurants
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