No one knows what Chanels personal life is like or if she is with someone. How do we know if she hasnt met that right someone? Didnt she even say someone she dated years ago? Her more immature age most likely.
PLus no one said 8 months was a long time…i think i made that clear in my last comment.

Maybe we can all just take it easy and try to help him out with his dilima rather than tear people apart and make them feel unworthy. I think its unfair for you “Heather” to say that our comments are not important. I think they help out CHanel and her readers and even the person who wrote.

GOOD JOB CHANEL!

As for giving advice, I know that there is no one right answer to most problems. Is Chanel’s advice 100% right? Probably not. Is it 100% wrong? Probably not. But if it gives readers and writers a different perspective, it serves a purpose…right?

I mean I read Dear Abbie and don’t agree with her some of the time!

Good job Chanel–it’s a tough job–but someones gotta do it.

Good addition to this site!

….Carrie never said anything about your age. She said you needed more life experience. A person can be 80 and on their death bed and not mature mentally through experiences. I agree with Carrie and Knows a lot. They aren’t being pessimistic. Just looking at things through eyes that have probably been through a lot more. Lets face it. 8 months is a very short relationship. And you are further proving them right. You said you were in a relationship for 3 years and nothing was wrong, yet you left him. There was a reason for that. He wasn’t the one. When you meet “the one” you suffer through hardships way more intense than “feelings for a another person”. If there is doubt, it means much more then the eye can see. You weren’t ruining a good relationship, you just got out of one that wasn’t good enough. You won’t understand what I mean until you cross in your life. Your response shows immaturity, simple as that. Not young age, just haven’t been through enough to dish out advice. You are in a respectable role and naturally people will listen and accept what you say, so what you say will directly affect peoples lives, hopefully in a positive way. And these other comments sound like very young girls also without life experience; you are affecting their lives and how they think as well.

“You want it because you do not have it. Don’t become a tool yourself and beat around the bush.” Here you are putting thoughts into his own head. He might not think have thought at all. But now he does. The people in the comments, aren’t important. What is important is what YOU say. I’m speaking to you. As a couples therapist for many many years, this is not how to help. Sorry.

This is what I have to say. You people are not making any sense with the negative comments! Especially if you read what she wrote in the column and her responses back. She clearly said for him to talk to his girlfriend, she even said it could be a lust or an attraction. To me it seems he is just a typical guy and is lusting for things he cannot have. Most of the readers even agreed with her. Maybe its you two that don’t have much dating experience with the wrong types of guys. Most guys end up being slimeballs and craving other women just because they arent theirs. My own boyfriend admitted this bring true. I even asked a few other guys I Know and they said it makes sense. Once they start dating these women, most of the attraction fades away fast and they lost a good potential relationship.

Its funny that “knows alot” said, his feelings arent as strong as we think. I dont think anyone, not even the writer wrote it. We dont know all the info. Chanel based her answer off the question and her experiences which is what columnists should do. No one wants to read a column from someone who is stealing others answers or making up advice.

“The Conflicted” did not ask her what is wrong with his relationship or with himself nor did he give her his full background. He simply asked her was it worth it. Chanel even went back and gave a personal experience.

Chanel I applaud your efforts and I expect you to blow us away with your next column! Im going to be sure to send my own friends to this column often.

I would also like to add a bit more after re-reading your comment a few times. Just because someone grows feelings or an attraction or a lust [in this case] to their ex – does not mean that their current relationship is going badly.

In fact – a few years ago I was in this situation. There was nothing wrong with my relationship after 3 years of dating but yet, it was my ex boyfriend and I wanted to see why I had such strong feelings. I ended the relationship and ended up ruining a good one. All for nothing – I ended up realizing my ex was not who he used to be, I realized I wanted it because there was no closure and that was that.

I also think age has nothing to do with being able to give advice – I do not believe I would have stepped up to the plate or received any positive feedback if I was unable to give good advice. My age is not said nor will it be – so to assume I have no life experiences is completely inaccurate.

I do however appreciate your response! I want to see how all readers feel and are receiving my work.

Thanks again! Hope to hear back!!